Change preaching language to persuasive language.

On day 165, we discussed the problem of preaching to your readers. To write persuasively and avoid angering your readers, revise your preaching sentences to objective sentences that connect an outcome to an action.

Here is the 5-step process we use:

1. Identify the rhetorical subject, the one you want to do the action.
2. Add the word can or will after the subject, followed by an action word.
3. Add the purpose of the action (the “why”).
4. Add the desired action (the “ought to” action).
5. Remove can or will. This last step is optional, depending on whether or not it strengthens the sentence and whether or not the resulting sentence is grammatically correct.

This process works in almost every case. Let’s try it with the following sentence.

“To help more children read, this legislative body SHOULD allocate more money to schools.”

1. This legislative body.
2. This legislative body will help
3. This legislative body will help children learn to read
4. This legislative body will help children learn to read by allocating more money to schools.
5. This legislative body help children learn to read by allocating more money to schools. (Removing “will” makes the sentence grammatically incorrect, so we used the sentence in the fourth step.)

Now, the outcome, “children learn to read,” is connected to the action of “allocating more money.” This is presented as an objective fact, not a moral statement or opinion.

Most importantly, the resulting objective statement is more likely to produce the action desired without creating a confrontation with the reader.

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This is the strategy for day 178 in 300 Days of Better Writing, available at Hostile Editing in PDF, Kindle, and paperback formats.

For a sample of 300 Days of Better Writing and other books by Precise Edit, download the free ebook.

Create transitions to the next paragraph.

The final sentences of a paragraph have two functions. First, they need to provide a conclusion, impact statement, or action statement relevant to the single idea of the paragraph. Second, they need to create a transition to the idea of the next paragraph.

This transition is created by using words and phrases relevant to the next idea or by specifically noting how the current idea relates to the next one. Let’s look at two examples.

NONFICTION EXAMPLE:

End of paragraph one: “Throughout the grades, teachers build this disposition by asking questions that help students find the mathematics in their experiences, and by encouraging students to persist with interesting but challenging problems.”

Beginning of paragraph two: “Students who can successfully solve problems are able to apply and adapt a variety of appropriate strategies.”

[National Council of Teachers of Mathematics, 2000]

The first paragraph discusses teaching strategies, and the second discusses types of problem-solving strategies. The transition is created by the underlined words at the end of the first paragraph, which relates to the idea described in the context of the second paragraph.

FICTION EXAMPLE:

Gloucester:
I hope they will not come upon us now.
King Henry:
We are in God’s hands, brother, not in theirs.
[Shakespeare, Henry V, act 3, scene 6]

Gloucester’s comment discusses actions by the enemy, using the word “they.” This reference to the enemy creates a subtle transition to the beginning of Henry’s speech, which starts with a reference to the enemy: “theirs.”

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This is the strategy for day 90 in 300 Days of Better Writing, available at Hostile Editing in PDF, Kindle, and paperback formats.

For a sample of 300 Days of Better Writing and other books by Precise Edit, download the free ebook.

Move adverbial phrases to vary sentence structure.

Based on many previous tips, you know that using the Subject–Verb–Object sentence structure helps you write clearly. However, you don’t want all your sentences to “feel” the same to the reader. Readers need variety, or they will quickly become disinterested in your content.

One of the simplest ways to vary the sentence structure is by moving adverbial phrases. Where you move the phrases depends on your style. However, many can be moved to the beginning of the sentence, which also may help you keep the S–V–O structure intact. Consider this sentence:

“He walked in the afternoon to the store.”

The adverbial phrase is “in the afternoon.” This phrase describes when he walked. We can move this phrase as follows:

“In the afternoon, he walked to the store.”

This sentence now has a different sentence structure. It also keeps the S–V–O sentence structure intact and focuses on the main point.

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This is the strategy for day 176 in 300 Days of Better Writing, available at Hostile Editing in PDF, Kindle, and paperback formats.

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Make Your Point Obvious

If you have an important point to make, don’t try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time—a tremendous whack. (Winston Churchill)

Did someone ever tell you, “Oh, so that’s what you mean”? Did someone ever ask you, “What’s your point?” In both cases, and in similar situations, the problem is the same. You have an important point to make, some issue to state, or some important idea to convey, but the meaning is obscured by your style. You were not clear.

Churchill made an astute admonition: Make your important points clearly and without artifice.

As I have written a number of times, style is important, but it is secondary in importance to clarity. To improve communication, write clearly so that your reader can easily identify and understand your important points.

Ask yourself, “What does the reader really need to know? What do I want the reader to understand about this?” Then state it as clearly, concisely, and obviously as possible.

Having done so, you might think that you are too blatant, too plain, and too obvious. But that’s exactly what you want for your most important points. You want to use the “pile driver.”

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This is the strategy for day 291 in 300 Days of Better Writing, available at Hostile Editing in PDF, Kindle, and paperback formats.

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Free E-book to Improve Your Writing Skills

Top writing strategies and expert instruction from each of Precise Edit’s writing guides 1 critical article from Precise Edit Training Manual 8 days of instruction from 300 Days of Better Writing 5 top strategies from Bang! Writing with Impact 2 essential word choices from Which Word Do I Use? 1 major comma use from Zen Comma 1 section on main verbs from Concise Guide to Technical and Academic Writing Get the free e-book (PDF) OR Purchase the Kindle version ($0.99).